Dear Arms……I need less of you!

23 Mar

So as the weight continues to shred I’m noticing that my arms are hanging longer and longer. If I lay my arm flat my arm looks just as fat as it was pre op. I’m really hating this and find it quite disgusting. I realize that at one time they were filled with lumpy fatness, but that fat is going and now I have the worst bat wings ever! I want to wear sleeveless and strappy tops/dresses and I’m not sure how comfortable I’ll feel doing so b/c if I lift my arm that shit looks crazy. For real.

Then there is the whole belly issue. To explain, pre op I had what I called a B shaped belly. Like it was seriously shaped like the letter “B” The top belly being smaller than the bottom more obnoxius belly. Albeit smaller and slimming, it’s still like this huge pouch that I just can’t get rid of. I reached out to a highly recommend plastics doc, who has extensive experience doing body lifts, tummy tucks, arms, etc for those of us who have had weightloss surgery. I really want these arms trimmed and the belly pouch gone like yesterday. Those are the two areas that I’m completely self-conscious about. It’s horrible and I’ve even figured out how to contour my body so that my man can’t really see how wretched it really is during our sexing.

I have even considered taking a knife to that pouch myself and getting the ball rolling, but than I envision bleeding out and the ambulance not arriving on time and them someone linking this blog post to that and I’ll end up in some mental asylum and my daughter grows up hating me and spirals out of control. So yeah….that picture keeps my ass in the gym doing cardio, abs and anything and everything to burn as much fat off as I possibly can.  Then there’s the whole, having another child consideration. I do want another child, and I want that child by the time my daughter, who’s turning 1 years old next week, turns two. I want to be done having kids by 35, plus my then 2 yo will be able to assist, so in my mind its a plan.

So I may just have to masking tape my fat ass arms in and rock all the cute summer gear I plan to purchase for the low-low price b/c I’ll be wearing larges and such. The belly, I just don’t know what I can do about it. I attribute it to being the primary reason that I’m still in 14w presently. I can wear some 12ws, but they are a little more snug (thanks to that damn pouch) than I prefer. Summer dresses I can wear large or extra large. Just depends on how its made. I’m the maxi dress queen so I’m good for a large in those. I have a big ass, hips and a very small waist so shopping sometimes presents a challenge but I make it work. Nothing like having a great tailor on hand to nip and take in where necessary. I guess I’ll just have to see how this all plays out….ugh


March Madness!!!

3 Mar

March is my happy month! I’m excited for a number of reasons, first up Spring starts this month, second up my daughter’s 1st bday is on the 30th. So I was thinking about what I could do to ensure that I make my goal, even surpass it. On Monday, 2/28 I began the Induction phase of the Atkins diet. I’ve done Atkins in the past and it definitely worked but I didn’t work it. Today is Day#4 of Induction and I feel just fine.  My carb withdrawal day was Tuesday and it was really rough. I had the worst migraine ever! My head was throbbing off and on all day. When I finally made it home and put my little one to bed, I was fast asleep myself. This week I’ve also started my 4 day/week workouts, meaning that I will workout a minimum of 4 days a week. Next week I’m going to push myself to do 5 days and/or 2-a-days for 4 days a week. I have The Biggest Loser Wii game on loan from my neighbor and a Pilates game too, I’ve done absolutely nothing with either. They are literally just sitting there waiting on me to do something with them.  I must admit, I’m not the workout at home type, but I will give it a try. It surely can’t hurt.

Been thinking about getting the Wii Fit system and really go to work at home! Toning is going to be key for me. I’m losing the weight by I don’t want the sagging skin. My arms are really bad and I might have to have them nipped and tucked. In fact, I called a highly recommend plastics doc this week to get more information. She works with WLS patients so I’m sure she’s seen it all. I really don’t want to have another surgery (c-section 3/10, VSG 12/10) but this would definitely be the finale! Plastics kinda seems inevitable. Skin has been stretched by fat for years and then all of sudden the fat diminishes, hell the skin doesn’t remember how to shrink back! LOL. What a tangled web we weave….we’ll see. I’m not counting it out completely, but I will do my best to tighten and tone myself.

This morning I weight 212lbs….that means I’ve lost 41lbs since my surgery (12/6/10). Not bad. Certainly wouldn’t have happened that fast sans a much smaller stomach and a lack of ghrelin. :). I should mention that I weighed myself on my new Eat Smart Scale that everyone on OH raved about. So far so good. I just need consistency. If I get on 5 times, then I should see the same weight 5 consecutive times…..unless I take a potty somewhere in between. ;). Ok, starting to ramble. Back to work.

Numbers and shit…

15 Feb

I know there is some controversy within the WLS community as to whether we should be working for numbers or overall health. I personally feel that they are NOT mutually exclusive, rather, that they work in conjunction. Goals give people purpose and something to look forward to.

I need a goal to work towards. It’s just how I’m wired. If I don’t make it, I’m pissed, but so what. I’ll reset, adjust and adapt and do what I need to do to make the goal the next time. Since I’m so damn close to being out of the 200’s all together I’ve set another rather aggressive, yet achievable, goal for myself.

The goal being that I will be in ONEDERLAND by my daughter’s 1st Bday party, which will be April 2, 2011. That gives me more than a month to get’r done!  More like 5 weeks or so to be exact. I can certainly do that. Right now I’m drifting between 218-220 and it’s pissing me off. However, it’s my own fault b/c I’ve been eating whatever the hell I want to eat. LOL.

Now, I’m going back to the basics. Straight protein and green veggies. No fruit, juice, and <30g of carbs a day is my plan. I won’t be eating breads, sugar, etc. No soda and sadly no margaritas either *bangs head against wall*. That margarita fast is gonna hurt worst than anything, but that’s probably been the reason I can’t break this current stall.

I have noticed that I’m enjoying alcohol more now than before surgery and it certainly doesn’t take much to get me WASTED! I still don’t like the taste of it, it definitely needs to be mixed well or I’ll pass. If I feel so inclined, I may allow myself a glass of red wine once or twice a week, no other breaks allowed. I will be working out at least 3 days a week and tracking my grams of protein and carbs. I should have started on Monday, but I guess I’m starting tomorrow, officially. I did make it to the gym today and I have been eating primarily protein so I’ll probably weigh 218 in the morning. I’ll have a protein shake for dinner and will be sure to get my water in daily. Water has been hard for me post op. I used to drink a gallon of water a day preop and now I can barely get 1qt in the entire day. Sadly, I know that is not advancing my cause, so I will do better.

Honestly, I believe that I will surpass my goal b/c I’m about to “go hard in the paint!” LOL. I have a size 14w suit that I must get into and I don’t want it fitting like Sandra Clark’s from the show “227”. I love a well fit suit, but I’m not trying to look like it was painted on….not at work anyway. Ha! Not to mention the size 12w slacks I’ve had since…….let’s just say far too long for the tags to still be on them.

Anyway, once again its on!

Farewell 220’s

8 Feb

After having a huge disappointment on 1/31, I was a lot leery about getting on the scale this morning. I’d told myself that I was going to avoid it all together for about 2 weeks, but that didn’t happen..LOL.

This morning I got on the scale and weighed 219! I’m so happy to finally be out of the 220’s. It seemed to have been a long time coming but I’m finally here. Next goal is 209!!

I should mention that I’m having soooo much fun these days. I guess losing nearly 35lbs is quite noticeable b/c the men are lining up! I’m also proud that my 14/16’s are starting to get a little loose on me. I had on some size 16 slacks yesterday and that literally looked as if they belonged to someone else. I am curvy so I carry most of my weight in hips, ass and thighs….otherwise known as being a BRICKHOUSE!!!! LOL. I do love my shapeliness and I feel really sexy too. Win/Win!

January Goal

28 Jan

I haven’t posted in a while, figure its time. So here is my month-end goal….to be OUT of the 220’s! This morning I was still weighing 221 and that’s probably b/c I didn’t eat much yesterday, workout hard and my body is holding on to sodium. At least, that’s what I hope it is. So, in order to move forward I’m going to eat more frequently and drink more water. I’m so close that I can taste it. When I weigh in on Monday, 1/31/11 I need to weigh 219 or less!!!

I’ve lost 33lbs and I can definitely see/feel the difference. It’s like the whole world is noticing too. Men are falling all over themselves and I’m absolutely enjoying it! My size 16’s fit nice and some are even too big. Just depends. I tried on a pair of size 12w slacks that I purchased for like $5 a while back and I put them on. I mean, all the way on, just couldn’t button or zip’em….so yeah, I still got a ways to go. But I’m happy and enjoying the journey.


16 Jan

I think I’m in a stall. It’s totally my fault b/c I know I haven’t been eating nearly enough and my body probably thinks its being starved to death. I guess I need a little bit of ghrelin…LOL. Food definitely doesn’t hold the same value that it once did. I could go without it but I know I need to eat. I don’t want my body to be malnourished nor do I want to feel like crap, so I will figure it out. One day at a time.

1 month in…..

6 Jan

and 24lbs down!!! How awesome is that! I weighed this morning just for my monthversary….and I reached my goal, which was to be out of the 230’s!! I’m 229….so next goal is to be out of the 220’s. I must admit that I haven’t been following the post op diet b/c its just too unrealistic for me and I feel like the sooner I adapt to a “normal” eating regimen, the better. So…while I do still get the protein in, I’ve been experimenting with different meats. I’ve tried thin, boneless pork chops and they go down just fine. Chicken and seafood have never been a problem. Beef I haven’t attempted just yet. I know how long beef sits in the stomach so I probably won’t be eating much of it anyway.

I’m so excited!! I’ve been to the gym everyday this week burning at least 600 cals per workout.I want to make sure that as the weight comes off that I’m tone and tight. I don’t want to look like I’m walking around in a skin bag….yuck!

I am quickly learning when to say when. My tiny stomach can only hold about 3-4 ozs any more than that and I feel like I have to vomit. I don’t like feeling sick or too full, both are horrible feelings.

In non-sleeve related news….my daughter slept through the night last night. I couldn’t believe it. She was put to bed around 7pm and I woke up at 2am thinking that I’d missed her cry. I looked at the monitor and it was quiet, so I did what any mother would do. I tiptoed into her room to check and make sure that she was still breathing…LOL. This is a huge milestone b/c she’s 9 months old and teething w/6 teeth in now, but I was still hopeful that we would soon be at the STTN stage b/c Mama needs some rest! LOL

So today is definitely a happy day!!!